So being a software tester myself and having previously worked in the gaming industry as a a game / product tester they should have done a way better job at testing simcity. Seriously do there testers or product managers even think of different scenarios that may happen… example: stress testing – how many simultaneous connections to server  would have been a great thing to do at first.

There biggest down fall is the always connected bullshit. Its not about the user being connected ( well kind of ). But what happens when there are too many people connected at once or the servers are down for who knows what reason. All it will do is piss off your consumers.

They really need to think about there testing platform and how they run there software because as shown they can’t handle the server load. Gah

So i read today that yesterday April 1st 2013 one of the main cast members from “Buckwild” was found dead in his bronco out on a mudding trail. The death was determined apparently from carbon monoxide. This is sad and i am sure really hard for the people close in his life. One thing i really liked about him (Granted i did not know him personally) was his overall just go with it attitude. He seemed as if his main thing in life was just to have fun and make others happy. I wish my best to his friends and family and know that he will be missed.

http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=799504&ocid=ansent11

There are things that really get to me such as judging me on my past and lieing. I hate when people judge me on what has happened on my past even if what they have to say is not true what so ever. I do my best to make sure I look towards the future and work towards goals. I have nothing to hide and understand there are things about me that are not perfect but to sit there and tell me I am worthless and that my past is what is holding me back is messed up. I worked very hard to be where I am today. I will continue to do my best and succeed regardless of what someone has to say. I am me, I know what I do and how to do it more than many others. I will continue to work hard and strive for success no matter what. I am sorry I cant answer every question off the top of my head but it is no reason to judge and say I am worthless and have no chances of making it in this industry. Just watch and see what I become. Karma baby!

So I never really watched the show lost when it was on tv because it never seemed to interest me. Anyways I have started watching it on netflix and I am hooked! Anyways the reason I am writing this right now is it made me think of so much we take for granted every day and being able to be with the people we truely care about. Just something that makes ya go hmmm.

anyways. Time for bed as I have to work in the morning

“If it were not for bad luck i would have no luck at all”; That is the first line you would ever read if i wrote a book about myself. I have been told that from so many people who know me. Anyways today it has made me think about things a lot. I have had a lot of things in life that have happened to be in both a negative and a positive way. I used to get really angry about things and become a complete asshole to be honest. One thing i have learned from my father is that there is no point in becoming angry, it just makes things worse. My dad has always been a really laid back person and today i don’t know why but i suddenly just thought, wow i have been a dick to him the most when he has done nothing to help. I think i took things out too much on him and my step mom when i was younger. Things that i feel really stupid about now because they did not deserve me acting the way i did. They had been by my side and there for me for all the ups and downs. I mean seriously, things were shit. People may think i had things easy and life was just fucking handed to me and that things are great in life. Well that is far from the truth. I mean, I have been through more than what some people go through in there whole lifes! I am not going to go into details about everything, but to this day i still am thankful i have the people in my life that i do, granted some people change and go there separate ways, but shit its just life and the way things go. There was a letter i had saw a few weeks ago that made me pretty much burst into tears that a family member had sent to another family member, and in part of that letter had the following message: “Thank you so much for allowing us to be with you at your house. Kevin was so much of a gentleman at breakfast. I realize it hasn’t been perfect with his life but we were really impressed with his demeanor. He is growing up !!!!”.

This whole rant of mine above might be just a ramble on about random shit that no one may even care about but today, it has made me think a lot. It also was due to people judging me and making assumptions about my life, and my past. All i really have to think now is karma is what comes around, hence why i have been more laid back about things. Let people say what they want, do what they want, or whatever.

Anyways, end of my little nonsense rant.

So over a year ago i got my mustang, which was my sisters who passed away back in 05. It is my baby. I wish i had the time to work on it more. I have so much i want to do to it, make it in the condition she wanted it and make it a very nice type of show car. I love that car so much. I feel bad i have not had time to work on it lately.

One thing I think about all the time is my sister Kayla. I miss her more than anything in life. I miss having her here to joke around with, go to family events with, long car rides with music and us all just having great times, making memories. I miss that the words you wish you could say only get to say to yourself in your own head. I hate that I never got to make a better situation out of things before I saw you go to the hospital. I hate that the only things I have in life to remind me of her are the mustang and a tattoo on my arm.

Seeing your own sister die / hooked up to machines to keep her alive is something I hope no one ever has to go through. I remember sitting in the hospital waiting room for 3 days not knowing what the outcome was. I remember getting to come in and see you in the hospital bed, with a breathing machine keeping you alive, and me just keeping in my own tears trying to stay strong and try to think of what to say to you. I never did say anything, I was speechless. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I wish I could take back everything that had happened, I wish I could have been a better brother to you. Being in the hospital not knowing what was going to happen was horrible. I saw my own family in complete horror, distress, and sadness wanting to know what was going to happen, all worried. I hate that nothing could be done, and that you had to die of a virus that is pretty much unable to be cured. I cant believe everything happened so quickly, just overnight.

Those three days sitting there seemed like a life time; something I will never forget. I remember sitting in the stairways calling my best friend with the news of what was going on and that we didn’t know if you were going to make it. I remember that he told me he wishes the best and to keep my head up, as he had to hang up the phone cause he broke down in tears as well.

The moment that we got told you were not going to make it, my heart stopped. I could not believe what I was hearing, someone so close to me was going to pass away at such a young age. You had so much potential and such a loving heart. I am sorry more of the world was unable to see and get to know you.

I guess if I had anything to say, is I miss you, I love you, and I wish you were here to be with the family. Life is not the same without you. I think about you every day. I know mom misses you, dad misses you, hell everyone misses you. You are thought about every day.

To this day, when I go up to your grave, I break down. I even took josh up there a while ago, even he did the same. As much as I hate going to visit because I wish it wasn’t true, I love visiting at the same time. I love being able to just go sit there, think about the memories we shared, and just have some alone time. As much as I miss you, I am glad I have you looking over us. I love you Kayla!